Fantasy Kendall Dialogue

"You are not going to get anywhere near my child. You are not going to have my child. In fact, she's not even gonna know who you are."

She wouldn't cry. She was tired of crying, and tired of trying. Over, and over, and over again, and for what? Their disapproval? She'd had enough. Let them think what they wanted about her. Because nothing she did ever seemed to make a difference. Not for long, anyway.

"You know what? You're right, Bianca. She won't know me. But then again, why should she? You don't. After all this time, after everything I've done or tried to do for you, you don't know me at all. You're just like our mother. You know that? You both are so smug, and self-righteous, and always quick to believe the worst about me. No matter what I do."

"Kendall, I--"

"No, it's okay, Bianca. You win. I give up. I'm sick and tired of wasting my time trying to prove myself to the both of you and to the rest of this town. Erica never wanted me and still doesn't. And you... Well, if I can't manage to get the best person I've ever known to see the best in me, then it's obviously a hopeless cause. So, I'm through trying. I'll keep your secret, but from now on, I'm staying the hell out of your and Erica's lives. And as soon as things are cleared up regarding Michael's murder and I can leave without arousing suspicion, I'm getting the hell out of Pine Valley so you and Erica can forget I exist, and I can forget all the time I wasted trying to become a part of the almighty Kane clan. Have a nice life, Binks."

Kendall turned to stalk out, trying to get away quickly in case the tears did come. She wondered how her feelings of self-worth had ever gotten so tangled up with what Erica and Bianca thought of her. She didn't know how she would ever shake the power they had over her, but she'd damn well have to if she was ever going to be free to be her own person.

"Kendall, don't--"

She slammed her way out of the apartment and was halfway down the corridor when Bianca came chasing after her.

"Kendall, wait!"

She didn't try to turn back--didn't even want to, really. She just kept moving, assuming Bianca would give up long before she made it out of the building. So, she was startled when Bianca latched onto her wrist. As a result, she spun around and almost lost her balance altogether.

"Please, Kendall. You're right. I was wrong, I-- I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that about you, and I apologize. Just, please, come back, and let's talk about this."

"Why, Bianca? Why should I bother? Why should I let you suck me in again with the promise of acceptance when it always ends the same way?"

"Because I need you and I don't want to lose you!" Bianca tugged her hand so hard that Kendall feared she might do some kind of damage. "Just give me five minutes. Please?"

Bianca's damned wounded-puppy eyes would be the death of her, she was sure of it. "Five minutes."

Bianca's sigh of relief seemed genuine enough. Still, she tried not to let it get to her. Tried not to get her hopes up. Once they were back in Bianca's apartment and could talk privately, Bianca seemed considerably more reluctant to speak.

"Five minutes, Bianca. Say whatever it is you need to say."

Bianca sighed, "Kendall, I don't really have a good excuse for what I just put you through. It's just that... Taking the sonogram with me was such a stupid thing to do. I don't know what I was thinking. And when Ryan found it and started going on about the will and the money and the Cambias name, I just... I felt trapped, and I started panicking, and I took it out on you. So much for that well-adjusted act I put on at the funeral, huh?"

She started pacing. "I know Ryan is just trying to do the right thing, but, genetics aside, I don't want my child to be a Cambias. I don't want a penny of Cambias money, and I definitely don't want her to be known as the child of Michael Cambias--there is no redemption for him, no matter what Alexander might have wanted. My child doesn't need that burden on her shoulders, Kendall, just like you didn't. But if Ryan has his way, I don't see how I can shield her from all that."

She plopped down onto the couch and dropped her head into her hands. "What am I gonna do, Kendall? How do I get out of this? How do I protect my child?"

Bianca's desperation was palpable, and even though part of her cursed at getting sucked back in again, she couldn't just ignore all this. Bianca was her sister and she was in trouble. Bianca's child deserved better than being branded the child of a rape. She knew all too well what that could be like, and she knew she had to find a way to help Bianca, and her baby. 

She sat down and pulled Bianca into a loose embrace. "It'll be okay, Bianca. We'll...we'll figure something out. I'll do anything I can to help."

The End

© November 2003